Preparation for Mediation

Parenting concerns and responsibilities

© Mediation Service Unified Family Court, Hamilton, Ontario

Topics to consider

1.  
   1. Doctor, dentist, other appointments
      • who has primary responsibility to make appointment?
      • who has primary responsibility to take child?
      • health card and number
      • medication--giving & follow through--communicating information
      • decision making--how?
      • payment
      • orthodontist
      • access of information
   2. Emergencies
      • involving child--parental role/notifying other
      • prolonged child care--how? who?
      • family illness, accident, death, etc.
   Top
   
   
2.  
   1. Parental arrangements and understanding
      • Supervision:
        • after school care
        • care when child is sick
        • care when child is sick during/after school
        • care when activities cancelled
        • other parent as babysitter of first choice: when? where?
        • who pays?
      • Clothing:
        • who decides?
        • who pays?
        • any exceptions?
        • how transferable are clothes? How to handle it? Laundry?
      • Philosophy and values:
        • differences of discipline that create problems?
        • between homes--when/what consistencies?
        • allowance?
        • gifts?
        • buying for child(ren)--who? decision making?
        • buying for other family members--who? how?
        • unexpected change of parental plan, e.g. illness, business, etc.
   2. Child care arrangements
      • how is decision made? what time frame?
      • transportation
      • who pays/how?
      • parental involvement
   3. Other considerations and values
      • food needs
      • special health needs, e.g. medication, transportation, costs, etc.
      • toys, back and forth; stockpiling/depletion
      • parent's work schedule (i.e. shifts)
   Top
   
   
3. Education
   1. Intent and purpose
      • a particular philosophy?
      • religious affiliation?
   2. School location
   3. Class placement
      • any need for discussion?
   4. Report cards
      • who? how? when?
   5. School activities
      • parent-teacher
      • special events, e.g. assemblies, concerts
      • PTA meetings
      • information obtained--how?
      • attendance--who? when?
   6. Decision-making
      • how? who?
   7. Access to information
      • when? what? how?
   8. Education fund
   Top
   
   
4. Religion
   1. choice; child involvement
   2. parental involvement
   Top
   
   
5. Extra-curricular activities/lessons
   1. Decision-making--how? when?
   2. Parent time
      • impact on parent time
      • who books
   3. Transportation
      • how? who?
   4. Payment
      • who? how?
   5. Parent attendance
      • what other parties may be included? how? when?
   6. Access to information
      • when? what? how?
   Top
   
   
6. Special days
   1. Birthdays--child's parents, other
   2. Mother's Day, Father's Day
   3. Statutory holidays
      • Easter
      • Victoria Day
      • July 1
      • August l/civic holiday
      • Labour Day
      • Thanksgiving
   4. Religious holidays
      • any special days?
   Top
   
   
7. Vacations
   1. Christmas and New Year's
   2. Christmas break
   3. March/spring break
   4. Summer vacation
   5. time for discussion with other parent
   6. access by other parent
   Top
   
   
8. Out-of-province/country travel
   1. lead time to notify other parent
   2. information shared with other parent/emergency contact
   3. written consent/acknowledgment
   4. child's support
   5. medical coverage
   Top
   
   
9. Residential arrangement
   1. Daily plan
      • during the week--when? times?
      • week nights--when? times?
      • weekends--when? times?
      • transportation
   2. Decision-making
      • who decides over which areas?
   3. Commitment of times/activities
      • clash with other parent's time
      • when is it okay? not okay? flexibility?
      • how are precedents decided? what? when?
   4. Contact with non-resident parent--by child
      • how? when?
      • use of phone?
   5. PD days
   6. Discussion times for parents
      • how? when? where?
      • day-to-day needs
      • for discussions/decision-making
   7. need for interim-interim plan?
   8. extended family
   Top
   
   
10. New partner/third party/extended family
    1. what role? How can he/she help?
    2. what concerns?
    Top
    
    
11. Change of Name Act--child's name
    1. is there a need for both parents to agree?
    Top
    
    
12. Move of a parent
    1. what distance means changing parenting arrangements?
    2. what happens to the child in the interim?
    3. what travel arrangements? Costs?
    Top
    
    
13. Death of a parent
    1. what arrangements for child(ren)?
    2. extended family, significant others--ongoing contact
    3. disability; serious illness of parent
    4. guardianship
    5. how are support payments to be funded? life insurance?
    Top
    
    
14. Other issues
    • name or silent on custody?
    Top
    
    
15. Parenting plan
    • Methods of
      1. assessing/modifying--how? when?
      2. no follow through on above agreements