Parent Education and Custody Effectiveness
Handbook for Parents

This handbook has been adapted from the Parent Education and Custody Effectiveness Handbook for Parents, a joint program of Hofstra University School of Law and Hofstra University School of Education Graduate Programs in Marriage and Family Counseling. Used by permission.

What will this handbook do for me?

This handbook is designed to give divorcing or separating parents helpful information. It is written in a question and answer style that tries to address in a summary fashion the questions that many parents ask. The suggestions in this handbook have proven useful to other spouses in situations that are similar to yours.

Remember, everything that you do has an effect on your children today, tomorrow and in the future. We hope that your children's best interests will be your top priority as you go through the reorganization of your family.

What will this handbook not do for me?

This handbook is meant to inform, not advise. It is not a substitute for the advice a lawyer or mental health professional can provide you with because:

• It does not cover every aspect of divorce and separation; and
• It is not tailored to your individual situation.

Warning: Who this handbook is not appropriate for!

This handbook is not appropriate for families who have been the victims of domestic violence or abuse. If you or your children are the victims of domestic violence or abuse you should seek help immediately. Tell your lawyer and discuss how to proceed. In the London, Canada area you may contact:

• The Children's Aid Society
• The London Battered Women's Advocacy Centre
• Women's Community House
• Sexual Assault Centre London
• Wife Assault Helpline: (519) 642-3000 (Voice/TDD)
• Atenlos Native Family Violence Services
• Women's Rural Resource Centre of Strathroy and Area
• Violence Against Women, Services Elgin County--Abused Women's Helpline (St. Thomas-Elgin): 1-800-265-4305

LondonNet's children's information resources and women's organizations pages list additional resources to help you and your children deal with domestic violence or abuse. Also see the note on child abuse at the end of this handbook.

Contents

• Introduction
  • How can I find a lawyer?
    What are my rights and responsibilities as a client?
  • Can we agree on a parenting plan?
    Should we consider joint custody?
    What are the alternatives to litigation?
  • What are some of the pros and cons of litigation concerning children?
  • What can I expect if I go to court concerning my children?
  • How long will It take me to get over my divorce?
• How can I help myself through the divorce?
• The children
  • When should we tell the children?
  • How should we tell the children?
  • What should we tell the children?
  • What will the effects be on my children?
  • What are children's worst fears?
  • How can I minimize the effects on my children?
  • When should I seek therapy for my child?
  • What if I can't afford therapy?
  • Suggestions for custodial parents to ease aspects of this difficult transition on their children
  • Suggestions for non-custodial parents to ease aspects of this difficult transition on their children
  • Suggestions for both parents to help aid them in minimizing the negative results of this difficult transition
  • A note on child abuse

The above lists all parts of our Parent Education and Custody Effectiveness: Handbook for Parents. A single long page with all of them is available for printing.